Handle with Care is a book that does not compare to any I’ve read before. It is something special, unique, and powerful as a whole. Lore opens up an entire world of touch that many of us never even knew existed, or have long neglected, afraid to do it wrong or uncomfortable with the more concept.
Lore brings such a human need to the forefront of our minds and shows us what it looks like to view touch as a ministry and not as a burden, or worse, something dirty. She shows us our human need for touch, and that it is good.
In this book, Lore so beautifully pinpoints what it looks like to view touch from God’s point of view, always placing Jesus as our central example. This book is infused with verses and godly wisdom and contexts that truly change how we see touch when taken at face value.
The beautiful thing about Handle with Care is that it was not written as a how-to or a “ten steps to success” type of formula. No, lore is interested in getting to the heart.
Much in the same way that we tend to want legalism when God is calling for love, Lore shows us how to view touch from the lens of love instead of legalism.
At first glance, we see simply from the basis of the table of contents that she covers every topic encompassing touch, as well as some we would never imagine. This book isn’t primarily about sexual touch, but about true intimacy.
In this book, Lore will cover topics such as: -the ways in which we use our hands in life -how our love language and family history impact the ways in which we touch as well as the frequency -self touch -touch/lack of/healthy and needed touch for singles -male/female as well as same gendered friendships in regard to touch -affectionate and intimate touch in relationships that is not sexual -touch in marriage -touch in regards to children -remembering the church body and our future bodies -a letter addressed to those who’ve been abused
One of the main takeaways and healing agents I have taken from this book has been the way I now view the word intimacy, and how I give and receive it. The definition of intimacy is defined as “close familiarity or friendship; closeness” or “a private cozy atmosphere” before the definition itself gets anywhere close to sexual intimacy.
The way my definition of this word has gotten overturned, so has touch as a concept as a whole. I have always been shamelessly touchy with those I love, but now even moreso, I plan to be INTENTIONAL with the ways in which I touch and to show touch as a form of care.
As someone who loves touch and has long viewed the ways in which I am able to give touch as something special and part of my gifting, I have never had language for it or a context in which to have a conversation around this topic. This book has brought touch to the forefront for me to think about, talk about, write about, and consider, in practical, daily life. At a time such as this one, thinking about touch has been quite an incredible topic to ponder.
Hey there, friend! I began this newsletter as a way to share my writings on all the topics I feel called to tackle, as well as the resources that are life-giving to me. Many of the things I am sharing are pieces I have written and stored away from a time such as this. Some were completed more than a year ago, and some are just ideas I’ll spend the month leading up to sending the newsletter, getting down on paper. The resources I share at the end are those that I have found edifying in the month leading up to the newsletter.
Abortion & The Church: Our Overlooked Call to Do Better
On the 46th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision, The Reproductive Health Act further removed barriers for women getting abortions in New York. Coming off of the passionate heels of March for Life, abortion is a hot button issue in our nation right now like never before. Some states are tightening up their abortion protection laws, while pro-lifers are making strides in dismantling others.
Many have called the debate over when the cut off for abortion should be the, “Roe v. Wade of our day”. Since as far back as my short life can remember, this has been a discussion in our nation. There is a lot to discuss here. If these abortions are for late-term pregnancies that have gone wrong and put the woman’s health at risk (which is almost always the case), are we saying that a baby is more important than the life of the woman carrying? Some fear the prosecution of domestic violence cases that cause loss of pregnancy will be harder to judge with this new bill. But is this a health issue or a penal issue?
As for early abortions, what about in cases of rape or incest? If these cases are too rare to base entire laws upon, are we saying that only majority lives matter? It’s all messy. A common frustration that creeps in frequently for me personally is the “do you know how many people won’t ever get to experience the privilege of being able to carry to term, or even conceive at all?” But guess what? That kind of thought is coming from a heart that does not acknowledge every complex caveat. It’s complicated.
So many questions come into play having to do with morality, and for believers, our thoughts and actions are tied up in the strings of our faith. It can be easy as Christ followers to completely write off those who are for abortion as just blind and ignorant, but it’s more complex than that.
The protection of the sanctity of human life is not so clear cut when we are charged with protecting the sanctity of all human life. These things get messy, and as much as we want to yell at the top of our voices that this is about the sanctity of human life, we have to make sure we are yelling about this universally. Being single issue voters, narrowly determining our views, deciding one issue to be more important than the rest, determining one type of persecuted group of people to be more important than another- these will not stand in the court of kingdom logic.
There are so many parts to this and so many pieces that cannot be easily untangled or perfectly fit into a box. Because this is a complex issue, as believers, we have to make sure we are doing what we can and helping in the ways available to us. Speaking up, defending the right of those who cannot do so for themselves, is Biblical. But only when done in love. Do we sound like love? Do our feeds reflect love? Do our actions back our words?
Can we all agree on this one thing? It’s complicated. Good. Bad. Right. Wrong. Complex. Simple. At some point, I must recognize it is messier than my privilege has shown me. Maybe that’s you too. Life is sacred, because we bare the image of God. But in the complex matters, we have to tread lightly. Too many hearts are at risk of hearing hatred out of our well intentioned words.
All this being said, it is our main mandate to stand as a home and a hope for the broken. To be a refuge for those lost in the world and for those suffering within our church walls. If we can’t be a place of safe haven, who will be? God calls his people to act as a light, not a bolded billboard.
We can march, vote, and speak freely about all our positions. All these things can absolutely change things. But what else can we be doing?
Action Steps to Redirect Our Energy:
-Show grace to our lawmakers, to those who have had abortions, and those whose views and votes differ.
-Pray for our leaders and political representatives.
-Act and speak as passionately about issues involving the sanctity of all human life as this one.
-Plan to foster and adopt if called and able. Yes, adoption and fostering is hard in every sense, not to mention expensive. But no call is easy. If this is the call on your life as a son or daughter of Christ through His adoption, prayerfully consider.
-Give to those who want to foster and adopt, which can be argued as just as important. Enabling those who have the ability to take in children in the system to do so is vital.
-Serve women at local pregnancy centers. These centers are quite literally EVERYWHERE. A simple google search will unveil dozens in pretty much any area. Everything from free prenatal care, to support groups, to donations are always needed at these centers. And every bit helps.
-Donate to the adoptive and foster family coalition in New York. Check out their website here.
-Support organizations dedicated to reforming child welfare systems and taking incredible strides in doing so. Read more about what the Children’s Rights organization, “the only organization in the United States dedicated solely to turning dangerous child welfare systems into safe havens for kids in need” is doing, and learn how to get involved here.
-Learn about how your church home can get involved in supporting foster care and adoption here.
-Learn how to personally support foster care and adoption as a member of Christ’s body. Here is a helpful and practical article to get started.
-Strategically pray for the system, birth parents, foster and adoptive parents, those who plan to be, and the church body as a whole, believing God will have his way and nothing is outside of his control. Here and here are some guided prayers to help.
-Serve the children and youth ministries in your own church walls.
-Make yourself, a member of Christ’s body, a haven for those inside and outside of the church who have had abortions, instead of condemning them.
-Rest assured that since God has the final say, we don’t have to.
-Pray for neighbor and country.
-Seek education and participation in the protection of lives inside and outside of the womb.
-Be heartbroken and angry over abortion, and redirect that energy into love for those who have had abortions. Most of us know at least one person.
Final Thoughts on Abortion & The Church
In the wake of New York’s new legislation, I am reminded more than ever of what I can do, rather than how loud I can scream. I fear that when I scream at those who are hurting, it is rarely done in love. And when I scream, no matter what is coming from my mouth, it will only push those I need to draw in closer, further away. If I say all the right things but don’t have love, all I’ve said is worthless, is it not?
We can yell, be bitter, cultivate and feed resentment and indignant responses. We can fact check, bring in logic and science from our biblical points of view, or we can be angry and vocalize all our opinions. But the fool multiplies many words, and with many words, transgression is unavoidable.
Recommendations of Things I Love:
Podcasts:
1. Chasing Cosby – L.A. Times (follows the events of the Bill Cosby case & trials)
2. Ted Cruz – Verdict (started by Ted Cruz during the impeachment trials for a behind the scenes look/continuing)
3. WeCrashed: The Rise & Fall of WeWork – Wondery (follows the events that led to the crash of the company WeWork)
4. The Boundaries.me Podcast – Dr. Henry Cloud (a quick & immediately applicable listen from the writer of the book Boundaries)
5. The Catch and Kill Podcast with Ronan Farrow – Pineapple Street Studios (follows the events of the Harvey Weinstein accusations)
Music:
1. Easy Never Needed You – Sarah Reeves (Album)
2. Way Maker – Live From Passion 2020 (Song)
3. Kind of Promising – OK MAYDAY (Song)
4. Not Done Yet – Vertical Worship (Song)
5. Best Friends – Hillsong Young & Free (Song)
Health:
1. Black Elderberry (syrup) for immune support
2. Evening Primrose (capsules) for period & PMS symptoms
3. Melatonin (capsules) as a natural sleep inducing supplement
4. 5-HTP (capsules) as a natural calming & anxiety reducing supplement
Courage, Dear Heart 